Getting something solid out of a book can be a tough challenge for me. Many business books are written for business owners that have brick-and-mortar stores and / or a large number of employees. Self-help books deal with a lot of deep problems that I (knock on wood) just do not have in my life. A lot of books simply don’t have a good grasp of what it means to do business as a solo-preneur in New York City. So when I came across Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner I was cautiously optimistic.

The day I bought this book I was in search of a book that would help me coach my clients that have roadblocks stopping them from achieving their career goals. New Yorker’s are a tough crowd and the book I wanted needed to be deep enough that I could use it with the toughest client but broad enough that I could use its teachings in a variety of situations. Happily, I found it with this book.

There are over 100 tips categorized in 10 topic areas. Each topic area (self-care, relationships, finances, career, communication, etc.) has about 10 tips that build off each other to help the reader implement them successfully and meaningfully in their lives. Here are my 5 biggest take-a-ways:
1. Clean things out. Miedaner gets very specific about what exactly to clean out. Drawers, desks, closets, cupboards, garages…and what really hit home for me was her point about natural power and cleaning out one’s head. She addresses “petty annoyances” in life and how to get rid of them. She digs into everything from shelving the daily dose of caffeine to raising the standards the reader sets for themselves in life. Upon reading these tips, I started cleaning out my desk drawers and closets. From there, I implemented her tip on writing down the things that are annoying in my life and taking action to correct them. It has been really effective for me. No longer are these things just thoughts that clog up my mind – they are actionable items that I can take of!
2. Spend Time Wisely. One of Miedaner’s most pointed questions is “What is important about today?” From there she asks “What must get done today?” and “What is important about the future?” That is a powerful series of questions when considering use of time and allowance of distraction in life. When there is a plan and a set of priorities (truly important priorities) it becomes easy to make choices in terms of bringing work home, staying late at the office, attending a social event, spending quality time with family, and planning the small steps for big projects. Other favorite aspects of Miedaner’s points about time is how she ties inertia to watching TV (or spending time online) and making good use of time by doing something right and completely in the first pass – rather than having to revisit it later. Personally, I can get caught up being online. Since reading the book, I’ve become more (notice it isn’t 100% yet!) cognizant of staying on track with what I want to do each day and laying out my priorities so I can do everything from finishing a client’s resume project to taking my 2 year-old to the park at the end of the day.
3. Asking Questions. Questions are pesky little things that can make a big impression. Ask a question in an unintended way and one might come across as inept, rude, discourteous, uninformed, weak, or self-serving. By asking questions from a neutral stand, eliminating the word “I” from the question, and by simply making a statement instead of asking a question, the reader can communicate from a position of strength and naturally be more effective in those communications. In my practice, this has become very important as I work with senior-level managers in a variety of industries who require a strong coach that can create awareness and help them reach their goals.
4. Appreciate Others. Giving gifts, sending thank you notes, and focusing on friendship is an effective way to feel appreciated. It all comes back to creating a strong group of supportive people that one can depend on daily. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about insincere gestures or manipulative acts, it is about reaching out while still being true to one’s own values and priorities. For me, writing a quick thank-you note to someone each day actually gives me a lift in my day. I like showing others how much I appreciate them; it actually puts a smile on my face.
5. Choosing Vocabulary. Long ago a coach taught me that words like “should, need to, have to, can’t” are all very disempowering and Miedaner backs up those teachings in her section on getting rid of goals that are founded in guilt (think “I should lose weight” or “I need to clean the house”). Then she takes it a step further. She talks about the word “try” and how ineffective it is when it comes to taking action. Miedaner points out that trying is a waste of time and gives great examples of its futility in life. This section smacked me in the face (in a good way!). There have been some things I’ve been “trying” to do professionally for a while and wondering why they weren’t happening. Keeping in mind that I simply need to “Do or Do not” has been key in moving me into action. In fact, this book review is one of those things!

Miedaner’s book is one of those rare gems that is easy to read and at the same time widely applicable. And, for me, will be extremely valuable as I incorporate her ideas in my job search and professional development coaching sessions with clients. You can get the book here: http://tinyurl.com/35g4x6q. Enjoy reading!